new york city!
today has been a great day. i enjoyed my time with les, it was good to see her and reconnect. and then i hung out with sirjohn which was also wonderful. he loves the city and is really enjoying his life here.this is the city where the magic happens. and part of me is still left feeling empty and sad. it is loud, polluted and crowded. this city does not nourish my soul. it does not brighten my heart. it has exhausted me today with its endless energy and nonstop banter. there is no silence here, except that which i hold in my own soul--in my own heart and head.
this city is the most ultimate test for everything i've already learned and everything i innately know. having a wise, stable safe space would be essential here, but still i am exhausted.
does this energy drain or sustain me?
and i've got some time and space to figure this out. either way, i need to go back to seattle ASAP. maybe even tomorrow. if i leave in the morning, maybe i'll be able to take an evening flight.
if i do move here, i need to be incredibly clear about my purpose for being here. it is not because i love this city. it is for the opportunities that living here would provide. it would be to position myself in a place and way that would open doors for me and get my career going in the way that i yearn for.
only time will tell how everything turns out. i'll keep you posted.
love and light,
l.
posted by Phoenix @ 7:13 PM
1 Comments:
tough aint it ma?, you can lose yourself in that city if you dont have intense focus on who you are and what you are there for..i felt crazy anxiety/anticipation...and kinda overwhelmed each time i was..like i dont know the secret everybody else knew...but there is an energy there that if tapped in the right way...can take you on adventures you never thought you could handle...its like an intimidamtion that makes you act bigger than you think you might be...but it was always in you..love ya..hugs/kisses...
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