JuicyLoveMagic

coming around again...

so here i am in day 3 or 4 of new york. it's getting better. spending time with more city transplants who freely share their experiences about coming, adjusting and either loving or hating this here town.

i still haven't made up my mind yet. it's so busy wizzing and waiting to know. i'm also reading oprah's collection of "i know this much is true" stories that can be found in may's edition of "o" magazine. it's great because it's giving me the injection of positivity and optimism that i need to stay simultansiously grounded and levitated. i don't want to overthink or overanalyze anything. i want the answer to be clear and organic, revealed without an opportunity for questioning or doubt. my constant prayer is, "what am i here for? how can i serve you?". it is my prayer that all of my thoughts, words and actions are in alignment with my divine purpose. i want to stay focused and connected to the greater picture that reaches beyond my little ego's perception of the world.

i am remembering to be humble. i am also remembering that it's just life. none of these microscopic choices really matter, expect regarding what i have to learn from them. in the meantime, there are certain things that I really want--a lifestyle that i would like to grow used to. how do i make that happen? do i just surrender into the great unknown and TRULY, TRULY trust that i'll be caught? or do i continue letting my little ego take charge and operate under the illusion that it has any control?

i want to surrender. i want to trust. i want to relinquish all attempts to control anything. because i know that when it gets right down to it, i'm not the writer of this script. i'm just an improv actor, trying to make it through the scene.

ah...that does take off some of the pressure to "deliver".

anyway, blessings and love and light. and warm lemonaide on the grass in central park.

love,

l.

posted by Phoenix @ 1:50 PM