JuicyLoveMagic

squint your eyes and look closer...

an ex-lover of mine used to get freaked out and ask me to look away when i gazed deeply with my big brown eyes. a lot of fear rose up from somewhere hidden, trying to keep me distracted from looking beneath and beyond...fear that i would see things that were not prepared to be exposed.

when i was born, my now blind grandmother baptised me with the words, "that baby has been here before." how she knew is beyond me as old school grams doesn't speak of past lives and such. she doesn't talk about astrology or ancestors or constellations sending us messages. she doesn't talk or listen to animals, trees or the music of the wind. and yet my grandmother could see the lives that i had lived before in order to bring me here now.

as i hold an old slide to the light, i now see what she saw. an old, ancient soul, peering out from behind the beautiful, big, brown eyes of a two month old baby. there is no hesitation. no question of reality or my responsibilities here on earth. there is a steady knowing, a comfortable preperation for the work that was to come.

i have always loved my eyes, always been given compliments by folks who note them as the key feature on my face. and i do see deep levels of knowingness and energies that are sometimes difficult for me to name. my skin crawls with the idea that i have ever hidden, conformed or shifted in order to make others comfortable with my fullness.

that ex was the only person who ever asked me to look away when my eyes got too close to the truth. eventually i walked away when the truth got too illusive. i've learned so much preciousness from that broken and sweet relationship and most importantly i've learned to keep looking, knowing that layers upon layers exist beneath the surface visible only to my naked eyes.

love,

l'

posted by Phoenix @ 10:30 PM