JuicyLoveMagic

fatal

i am having tenderhearted feelings and concurrent thoughts of death. this time it is my own. it is all meta-metaphorical, metaphysical...a neurological connection short circuiting me back to thoughts that love equals death equals grief equals pain equals the yearning to feel complete again.

i hold myself tight, guarded, protected from misdirected images of passings, of unfinished endings, of untimely transitions (at least according to my book of the dead).

this is a slow journey, a long road, a tenderhearted moment. it is an opportunity to be willing and to surrender it all to God.

(i think i lost a piece of my soul a while back, someone took it with them when they left this dimension. i haven't been able to find it since. maybe it's time for a soul retrieval, time to bring back what i let go of so long ago. i want back what is mine...)

i am learning to hold myself with gentle hands, compassionate love, greater than i knew possible strength. i am slowly opening the door, peeking out to see what's there, exploring the possibility of throwing the door wide open and letting all of the sunshine in.

"in time," Spirit says. meanwhile, i take baby steps, perfect and big enough for me to get where i need to go. i hold my own hand, remembering that my truth is my freedom compass.

"this is a hard one to shake," the elder brotherman says. "you've let him go, but now it's time to reclaim what is yours. there are other galaxies to explore, more mountains to climb. let your kite fly in the wind. what you lost will return in perfect time. in the meantime, listen to that still small voice in your heart. there are no mistakes and no need for translation. you know everything you will ever need to know. the journey is waiting. just step into it. you are safe and Divinely supported. you are already home."

posted by Phoenix @ 1:32 AM