i got issues...
but aparently not the ones i thought i did.you see, i'm a gypsy, a traveller, a womyn who roots in the wind. and while it's in my blood and there's not quite anything i can do about it, sometimes i try to fool myself and stay in one place a little too long. and besides all of the wonderful gifts that traditionally come with travelling (new people, places, things, ideas and revelations), being out of the country and on new soil really gifts me with new sights and connections with myself.
see now, before i left the us, i was quite smitten with someone who pingponged me around with yes! yes! yessssses!!! and one final NO. i was teary, teary sad for many, many moons and requested several extensive and deeply processing conversations with a ton of my folks who held my hand for a longlong time. (thanx again people!) it was tough tiplease but i finally made it through the storm with closure and completion (and from time to time clarity).
fast forward a few weeks/months. the former recipient of my once smitten heart gets word that i'm moving to cali at the end of the summer. suddenly, i was the Soulmate, the one who had all the cards, the one who could get whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted. and while i was a little suspect, my tender heart wondered if it was still possible...could this one have really turned a corner? could something sweet and beautiful really be possible with this one here? (summer says, "we swim hardest when we're drowning"...)
at any rate, there's still ping ponging and what i realize now, more than ever, is the value and importance of a quote i discovered not too long ago. it reads, "choose your friends based on their character, not their personality". i guess this needs to be true for un/sweet lovers and partners too.
thank goddess for that quote.
it puts everything in perspective for me. personality: b-b+. character: d. sad to say, but true nonetheless. as a result, the door is closed. (officially this time). i'm ready for the goodness. the sweetness. the luscious, deliciousness of love. in other words, i'm combining the quotes of 2001 and 2002--
FUCK THE BULLSHIT, just love.
loveiscoming...(just repeat overandover, like "nas is coming"...) and it's already here. that's the best news ever.
blessings, light and love,
l'
posted by Phoenix @ 1:47 AM
7 Comments:
i see your loveiscoming, and raise you a saul williams quote "but i'm already there."
in love and possibility...
a d on character? that's still a passing grade, homie (unless it's grad skool). but ok.
despite the subject matter, your tone in this entry is refreshing, rejuvenated. i'm glad to see/read it.
i've said it and i say it again: that someone is wack. and that highly skewd opinion has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that i've had a crush on your for damn near however long we've been buddies.
that said, just make sure that when you choose a someone, they'll be a someone who will match your work...
and when the love game makes no sense to your ever-rationalizing mind, just remember bob kaufman-- "love is the condition of human beings being human." that shit is holyfield.
bzzer- thank you sweet love. thank you for holding the torch for me. it's about the officiating time for you, yes? sending my highest love, light, joy, patience and peace to you and your betrothed. all the best. always.
shine- thanks honey. YES. wack indeed. you're right. i know. thanks for the honesty. i want the feeling that my myspace song is singing out. that's the fck what i want. in time, i'm sure. but in the meantime, no settling...i want humanity on a different level that that ish.
"fuck th bs, just love" = quote of the milennia...
oh yeah and the buddha got good advice:
But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest. - Buddha
love ya like an old soul record,
jb
Yes yes yesssss!! and YESS! Moving forawrd is always the good move. Thank goddess for sharing that quote. And it is always good to seek it inward... for yourself. Why do I always feel giddy with news from you? I hope you're well. And I am exited for your move.
i feel you. i'm there. call me when time permits. i've made my exodus from myspace (lasted a good 4 months this 'round). time for energy conservation. i'm (re) creating michigan in my back yard. freedom. be well.
thank God you are a risker, L'. see you before you go??
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