JuicyLoveMagic

the healing pt. 1

i need to speak. i need to share my voice and move from my heart because it hurts. yes, i am a healer but now i understand that right now my journey isn't about me intentionally facilitating a healing for anyone else. it's about me sitting with myself and mending my own heart. and that is only the beginning. but it is the First and Most Essential step on the journey. if i am not fully immersed, committed and surrendered in that process, the rest is irrelevant. i cannot be a healer if my soul is not first nourished and hydrated.

as i continually focus my attention on the light, the pain in my heart disappears. i am so loved by God, the Source, the Universe. i am so loved for and as all that i am. there is no wrong or right here. we are all perfect, whole and complete and i choose to continue being rooted in love.

and now my heart doesn't hurt anymore. more than anything else, i know that it is all about love. it's not about a career. it's not about rushrushrush to achieve something before i'm 28...32...46...50! (what's the fear that life ends after 50?) focusing on that is not my path. although i'm continuously bombarded with the seduction of a linear life, i know in my heart that it is not for me. it's only when i believe i am not enough that that i find myself in fear and pain. i create this fear when i believe that i am somehow flawed--that there is something i must do, be or achieve in order to be "worthy". i create reasons to affirm this fear but neither they nor my fear are real. the only thing that is real is love. there is no reason to fear age or death or endings or competition or "better than" because yes, mortality is finite, but LIFE, my dear friend, is eternal.

i have full permission to celebrate, accept and love all of who i am in this given moment. i don't have to understand anything. there is no time when it all "clicks," when we "get it" and then "deserve" acceptance and love. we are all that we are and ever will be in this exact moment. and i choose to love everything, warts, hairy chin and all.

i'm ready to be surrounded by elders, wize women and men, sages, gurus and teachers. i'm ready for sacred space where i am learning, lifting and pushing myself in each moment. and while every person i meet is my teacher, and each moment offers an opportunity for growth, i am now ready to be swallowed whole, to release myself from clinging to the embankment and allow the current of the Universe to take me where it will. i surrender into the breath of magic and healing love, the birth of water and trees...i am ready for the plunge.

"Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." --Rumi

with the pheonix's love, laughter and light,

l.

posted by Phoenix @ 2:42 PM