JuicyLoveMagic

letting go

seemingly easy decisions are made in midnight hours and my gut still wrenches in morning/afternoon/eveningtimes. i want to rushrushrush hurry everything--conversations, decisions and movements, for fear that this moment may be my very last. i don't want to misstep, to land on a mine that will explode the little i have to hang on to.

sometimes i don't know myself, or you (andyouandyouandyou...). i want it all to make sense, to reference the internal transcript of last night's talkin' to when i don't remember what the f*ck is going on. creative antics distract me and i'm dancin' again, catchin' snippits of your breath whispering my next move. the steps are so familiar but i don't want to dance this way anymore. how can i love unconditionally and take care of myself simultaneously? what am i missing? why is this so hard to shake? what the hell hooks me in?

that voice screams to me, ringing out my soul's freedom songs. i am running on bound feet, bones turned over onto themselves, molded into shapes only suitible for resting. but i cannot stay here and so i hobble hungrily forward, limping into step behind those who have trod the road ahead.

posted by Phoenix @ 4:21 PM