JuicyLoveMagic

new breath

i realized this morning that i have made so many life choices just in order to avoid pain. and while i've been fighting, tooth and nail, to avoid re-experiencing old pain, i've actually really relived it all in my mind over and over again. as a result, i've been enslaved by my worst nightmares without ever really experiencing them.

then the question became--how would i live differently if ALL of my worst nightmares really did come true?

if i...

-(learned i) was going to die young
-had no friends
-was cheated on again
-was invisible and unloved
-never accomplished anything significant

how then would i live? would my goals still be the same? would my behavior?

making them real, valid, and significant and giving them room to breathe, was one of the most important revelations i've ever had in my whole entire life. i tell you in that magical and beautiful moment, the universe (re)gave me the most significant gift i can recall: life. because you see, my fears weren't really about the fears. they were about death. and when i thought about it all, i realized that if i SURVIVED my worst fears, i would still be alive and still able to do whatever i wanted with each moment of each day, moving simply with each breath i was blessed with. on the 48 bus in the soaking gray rain of seattle, washington, everything in my life changed.

and so now i choose, consciously and joyously to be fully alive and aware, knowing that if all of my worst nightmares came true, i would still live. i would still learn and grow and love. i would be okay.

love and radiant light,

l.

p.s. "the game" is one of the most incredible movies of my whole entire life. watching it (a million times over) really helped draw me closer to this conclusion. i really encourage you to pick it up if you haven't seen it already. it will change your world. blisslights.

posted by Phoenix @ 6:59 PM