JuicyLoveMagic

this world here.

I've been here before this ain't a battle this is war.
-Lauryn Hill

delirious conversations send my head spinning, again. and i wonder when will it ever be safe to land?

i carry heavy suitcases in my head. most are dusty, unpacked and crammed with internalized texts waiting to be decoded. sometimes it is hard for me to understand up from down, in from out, real from illusion. i am a whirling dervish suffocating in the mirror of my own warped reflection. and i am tired. tired of spinning and fighting and holding myself in/out in order to survive.

yes. today i am grateful for all the love and light and connection. i am honored to be a participant on this path. there is nothing like living. and most of my days are full of all kinds of gratitude. but there are also knots here, sharp pains jamming into my shoulders, cycloning into my back. it is time to put down the bags. to unpack them and finally nurse myself back to thriving, vibrant health.

i cried at the end of "a beautiful mind," not because he won the nobel prize, but because he constructed a fulfilling life despite the ghosts in his head. step by step, i am learning to match and rematch the puzzle pieces until it all makes sense. i have faith that i will happen eventually and for this i am so very grateful.

always love,


l'

posted by Phoenix @ 8:53 PM